I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
