pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
