He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize