It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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