You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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