i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
