i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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