I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My bed smells like the plague
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize