Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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