wakey wakey hands off snakey
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
