roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
