Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's never too late to be topless.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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