i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
