Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
