some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
