did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
