You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
