friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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