I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
