and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
