you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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