cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
