dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
