You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
