I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
FUCK WHALES
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
