Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
