im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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