T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
