I cockslap morals
now i know why i became what i already was.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize