my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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