so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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