I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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