the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
