these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You can't special order awesome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
