It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Blood and glitter go together right?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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