I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize