no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
