So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
