I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
