brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
