the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
