Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
