69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
