I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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