Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it was like eating out sand paper
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize