Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
