Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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