so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
