i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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