trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do vagina's smell?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
