He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Redeem this text for a blowjob
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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