There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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