i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
