I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
