you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
