I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
