I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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