"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Even my vagina gasped.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
