haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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