I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
