I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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